Which way is the right way?

Most successful people say money won’t make you happy. Most people without money would rather find out if that’s true for themselves. We tell kids to hurry and grow up. We tell grownups to keep that child like passion when it comes to chasing their dreams. We say speak it into existence and you shall receive. We say talk is cheap. Action matters. Which way is the right way of thinking? One thing I can say is you have to do what’s best for you and be responsible with information that you gather. Which way of thinking is the right way depends on you. Focusing on the purpose should be the driving force. One side will tell you one story and the other side will tell you a different story. But this is YOUR book that’s being written and YOU are the author. Believe in your pen.

Be Present

Be Present. Show your face. Give your time. Spread your ideas. Do something. Just Be Present. Don’t let your anxiety win this time. Don’t let apathy describe your being. You have so much to offer to the world.

Don’t let “WORLD” overwhelm you especially when the world has never been smaller and you can create your own world with the push of a button. Or, which I think is a better way, you can create your own world by getting out in your neighborhood and saying Hi. Be Present.

It’s probably 2-3 people that you see regularly that have similar goals of yours. Don’t let your anxiety get in the way of connecting with them. Start planting the seeds to make them apart of your “WORLD.” Talk everyday. Text everyday. Create everyday. Spread ideas EVERYDAY. You have to do something. I have to do something. WE have to do something. But first we at least have to Be Present.

Choose Wisely

10,000 Hours sounds like forever. If someone asked you to do ANYTHING for 10,000 Hours you would probably look at them like they’re crazy. But what if meant mastering a skill you always wanted to master. What if it was the difference in living out your dreams or living with regrets. It’s been a long running theory that it takes about 10,000(+ some natural ability) to become a expert at something. I’m not a math expert so bare with me lol. At a normal work schedule of 8 hours a day that means in 3 1/2 years you COULD become a master of a skill. Now 8 hours is probably overwhelming for some especially those with kids an other duties of life that consume most of our time. So what if you break it down to half. 4 Hours a Day for 7 years? Are you willing put yourself and your dreams 1st for at least 3-7 years. I meeeean, we’ve put ourselves and our dreams 4th and 5th for waaaay longer. Life does get overwhelming at times but that is what defines our legacy. Who was able to beat the odds when everything pointed to Quitting being the “easy option.” Are you willing to put in the 10,000 to master your craft. Master your gift. Master your skill. We all have choices.

Life comes down to decisions. Doing or Not Doing effects more people than we think. Our decision to put our passion into our dreams might inspire a person that sees us everyday. It might influence someone who comes across your work online. It might spark a kid to train harder at basketball practice or read more books outside of school. Of course we want to think that the things we do only effect our homes. Newsflash. We have a community that is depending on and needs each other. But we have to decide are we willing to put in the work. 10,000, 5000, 1000 hours. But I know for too many years it has been 0 hours put in. There’s a whole world out there waiting for each other to decide. You can be that spark that gets it going. I can be that spark that gets it going. But it’s time to make a move. Life is about choices. Choose wisely.

“Service to others is the rent we pay for living on earth” – Muhammad Ali

This Weekend

Tell your friends you can’t go out this weekend. You’re working on your dreams. Tell your spouse “Let’s cook in instead of going out for dinner this weekend and start saving for our dreams.” Tell your kids to give you 10 ideas this weekend. Make that dream thing a family thing. Tell your job you can’t do voluntary overtime this week. You need this free time to work on your dreams. Tell your TV it gets no love this weekend. Falling down the rabbit hole of just FINDING something to watch is not an option. Nope..not this weekend. Tell social media you’re gonna need 2 days to lock in. Just 2 days. You’ll be back on Monday recharged. 2 Days. This weekend. Not next weekend. Not New Year’s Eve. Not the 1st. No New Year New Me. That way didn’t work the 1st 12 times. Well at least for me it didn’t. I dont even know if this new way of trying is gonna work. But the old way didn’t. And they say the first sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. As long as the purpose remains genuine, the plan should be flexible. But start NOW. Make this weekend be the weekend you decided to show yourself how important you are.

BET on YOU

I’m not much of a conspiracy theorist. But it’s hard to not notice the conditioning that has been put on our minds and wonder are we being intentionally programmed to stay stuck. Why do we live in so much fear. Why do we live with so much self restriction. Constantly putting limits on ourselves. Constantly making excuses that we wont accept from our kids. Funny how we tell our kids they can be anything they want in this world but on the flipside we rarely lead by example in that case. Sometimes the biggest risk we take needs to be on ourselves. That’s a bet I’m willing to take.

Coffee and Commitment

Whenever I don’t wake up between 4am and 5am, I start feeling the day suddenly crashing in on me lol. Maybe I’m exaggerating but today it kinda makes sense in my head. Those 2-3 extra hours before chaos of the world starts are so crucial for me. Especially on a day like Wednesday. My Wednesdays have been my most occupied and precious days for the past 150+ weeks. For the past 3 years now, that’s the day me an a few of my good friends have produced our weekly Open Mic Night “Vibes In The City.” 152 weeks. 150 Open Mic Nights produced. 2 missed due to record breaking snow storms earlier this year. For the past few months I’ve been very consistent with starting my days between 4 an 5am. It gives me time to work on my personal projects an ease into the day before the rest of the world awakens. But last night I wanted to go support Another Open Mic Night as well as a good friend of mine who I’ve been talking about collaborating with on some projects. I’m glad that I went and when you’re out enjoying the great talent of your local scene and moving forward on potential business ventures, time can fly. And that’s how you end up staying out late, then going home to have a night cap with the Mrs. only to fall asleep at 3am. Yes a night well worth it an before any other day than Wednesday would’ve been perfect. Opening my eyes at 4am this morning would’ve been nice but not off 1 hour of sleep. Lol 😴. So now fast forward to 7pm. 2 hours before we open our doors to our Open Mic Night and I’m feeling like the day has came and went. Pen in my hand. Notebook on the table. Nice cup of coffee because…just because I made a commitment to myself to at least start my blogging days off with 30 Days of Consecutive posts. An I didn’t wanna take the easy route and just post a few pictures and cross off a extra day. 2 hours late to start the day but now I feel like I might’ve just got back control of the day. Commitment grabbed the wheel for me. Or maybe it was the coffee. I don’t know but I had little to do with it myself. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Sidebar: The pic used for this post is old but ironically I just came across it again. Lol. Dunkin Donut gotta cut the check for the free promo 😂😒

Busy or Productive?

“Hey what’s good man how’s everything going?”

“You know man. Just tryna stay busy.”

“That’s wassup bro. Busy is good.”

I cringe every time I can remember giving those generic responses. I cringe every time I can remember texting those mundane words. Because honestly, busy isn’t good. Busy is …just busy. What does it even mean. For me, usually it means doing a bunch of meaningless things to avoid the big projects and ideas that we hold off out of fear. Busy just to be busy is one of the main reasons we procrastinate now and regret later.

Lately I’ve been trying to stay aware of when I’m about to say “I’m Busy”. Because for me, busy usually doesn’t mean Productive. It goes like this. *Checks social media. Checks email. Return Text. Back to Social. Looks at goals, ideas and plans for big project. Rabbit hole of online research then Repeat*

Too often have I found myself doing that exact process only to start kicking myself at 10pm because the day is over an all I have to show for it is 6 likes an a comment from a bot that only came to my social media profile because of a hashtag. “Wassup man. Great photo. Your profile is awesome.”

Thankfully, in my new quest of self discipline..things are changing. A little bit. My productivity isn’t where I want it to be but I’m beginning to get more out of each hour. Once I can break it down to getting more out of each minute, then second, I will feel like I cracked the code. I’m not the most religious person by any stretch but I found it interesting that God considers being a “busybody” a sin or sinful.” That definitely raised my eyes a little bit an I understand.

Being busy just to be busy instead of doing our due diligence sets up a domino effect of decisions that leads to a culture of procrastination. Sometimes we need to disconnect from the chaos of the world and drown ourselves in our own personal goals. Sometimes we need to just lock in with those personal projects that we keep finding ourselves too “busy” to get to. Because who wants to stay busy just to get nothing done except things we’ll regret later.

Sports and Loyalty

Since we were kids, picking our favorite sports team was one of the things that stuck with you forever. Deciding between the Jets and Giants meant a life time of let downs or enough high moments to brush the let downs under the rug. Choosing between Yankees and Mets meant an abundance of riches or year after year of agony. If you were picking between the Lakers and Clippers, that meant…. I meeeean we don’t even have to get into the comparison. But regardless of the choice, we were taught and told by our older relatives and friends that once you pick your team…THATS IT. No switching sides under any circumstance. You can’t like the Cowboys one year and like the 49ers the next year or vice versa just because Deion Sanders switched between the two. We were taught that our loyalty had to be to the teams and not the players. But why is that. Why do we HAVE to stay loyal to Organizations that show little loyalty in return. If the Owner wants to relocate…team moves. If the Owner wants to cut cost and put a mediocre team on the field or court just to maximize profits, I doubt they’re concerned with how happy we are. An if 32 Professional Football teams want to cast out a Quarterback in the middle of his prime, because of a peaceful protest for social injustice against black people..Am I’m supposed to stay loyal to them JUST BECAUSE? Naaaah. Loyal to Teams in a League that treats Domestic Violence like its some sort of Sports Entertainment Scripted Reality? Naaaaah. That’s who I’m supposed to tell my sons to be loyal to?

This became a topic in my home because my 7 year old son is in between picking his favorite teams and yesterday I found myself telling him “No you can’t keep switching your favorite team because the previous favorite team lost this week.” Which is a valid point. You gotta ride with your team through the good and bad times. But for some reason, this time…the conversation about staying loyal to your favorite team opened up a whole new can of worms in my head.

Not all, but many many many teams have showed disloyalty time and time again to their fans. And we just stuck by them because of the Old Boys Club Rules. NOPE. That’s one thing I’m not passing down. I mean, I’m not encouraging bandwagon fans or even saying I’ll switch my favorite teams. But there’s a old saying that goes something like “The person who loves the least in a relationship has the most control.” An I refuse to allow my boys to even consider giving up their control by being loyal to someone who isn’t doing the same in return.

This post started out as something lighthearted lol then my pen grabbed the wheel 🤷🏽‍♂️

No Shave November

This year was my 2nd consecutive year participating in No Shave November. No Shave November is a non-profit organization devoted to growing cancer awareness and raising funds to support cancer prevention, research, and education. I first learned of this Initiative a few years ago but I never looked deeper into it until last year. As my journey of become more conscious an aware had become more intense, I decided to finally take on the challenge. Yes. Another one of those challenges to become more disciplined which has become a very familiar theme in my journey. I announced my plans on social media last year a day or 2 before November 1st and one of my good friends D.Bridges decided to join me in this challenge. Who says social media can’t be used as a positive platform?

For most of my life I’ve never even allowed my facial hair to get past the peach fuzz or 5 o’clock shadow stage. Something about the scruff just wasn’t for me lol. But that made the challenge fun. Especially when family and friends are use to seeing me with nothing more than the Penny Hardaway Goatee Lol. So naturally they would say things like “Yo, cuz you good, why you wolfing like that?” Or “Bro, when are you going to the barbershop?” Or simply just “Cuz that gotta go, wth is that?” But both years I was able to make it through the month successfully. We all have duties in this world no matter how small or big an if the least I can do is to let my Penny Hardaway Goatee go full blown 808 and Heartbreaks Kanye West scruff…I’m signing up for that every time.

To get more information on the No-Shave November organization Visit their website https://no-shave.org

“The goal of No-Shave November is to grow awareness by embracing our hair, which many cancer patients lose, and letting it grow wild and free. Donate the money you typically spend on shaving and grooming to educate about cancer prevention, save lives, and aid those fighting the battle.” – https://no-shave.org

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy Birthday Mom. Today is your 52nd Birthday. I miss you so much and for some reason in these last few months, I have more questions than ever. I never got to ask you what were your childhood dreams before you had me. Or what did you do on your free time. What were you favorite subjects in school and was it anywhere you dreamed of visiting. How did you and my dad meet? I know it was probably hard for you to give those up your dreams since you were basically a baby when you had me. Young enough to be my sister, which some people thought was the case early on. That alone had to be a challenge. A baby raising a baby. Not to mention right after me you had 3 more. So 4 kids before the age of 22. Same Mother. Same Father. You must’ve really loved him and he must’ve really loved you. Me and him never had the closest relationship as you know but he always had my respect. You raised me to be respectful and that’s one of the ways I choose to honor you. But you held it down. I don’t remember us missing a meal. I don’t remember us not having matching Easter Clothes Lol 😒. I don’t remember us complaining about what we got for Christmas. 22 years young. 4 kids and making it work for as long as you could. Unfortunately the streets got a hold of you. Maybe it was your innocence that got you induced into this cold world. How can a girl so sweet survive in these streets. But you never gave up. Not on yourself or your kids. You were always attempting to get sober and clean for us. For yourself. And for your grandkids that were on the way. But sometimes even when you dont give up, God would rather have you closer to him.

I’ll never forget the moment I got the call that you passed. You were far away from home for a year. All the way in Texas an it was one day before you were supposed to come home. Everybody was excited. Then I got the first call from the facility you were staying. I received the news of you having a heart attack. You pulled through this before an I knew you would pull through this one. You were on your way to see your kids the next day. You got this. But I knew I needed to get on a flight to come see you. I needed to be there to give you strength. I was sitting in my car, about to pull off to the airport. Then the next call changed my life forever. The lady from the facility called back an said the words I will never forget. “Hello Ishmeel, there’s no need for you to come down here anymore, your Mother has passed away.” Rocked my world. All I could say was I dont understand. And she repeated the words. “There’s no need for you to come down here anymore, your Mother has passed away, I’m sorry.” I don’t remember if I said anything else before the phone hung up. I broke down. Just as I am breaking down writing this letter. I was so confused. I was so hurt. So many questions but I couldn’t even get myself together to ask what I needed to ask. Just a few hours earlier I was getting excited about you coming home. I knew this time would be different. This time we would get our family back and get everything in order. But maybe God had another plan. Maybe he needed another angel to help him watch over us. This world can be ugly at times and maybe your heart and soul was too pure to stay here any longer. Maybe He didn’t feel like you were safe around the demons that won’t leave us alone. I don’t know. I have no answers for that an I don’t question God’s Plans.

I wish you were here for my wedding last year. Two families got together and had a ball in the name of love. Of course I told the DJ to put Whip Appeal on the playlist. I can still remember you and Darlene playing that song over and over when we were younger. She appreciated that we played that song. Most importantly, I really think you would love your Daughter In Law. She has a beautiful soul like yours. I wish you were here to see your grandkids. As the oldest of your 4 kids, I know it was natural for you to always ask me “when are you gonna give me a grandchild?” I use to just brush the question off. Lol. Last year I finally added to the grandkids. December 22nd, 2017. His name is Shane Kelly Blakewood. 11lbs out the gate. And you said I was big at 9.6 pounds. Lol that boy got me beat. I know he would’ve loved you an I know you would’ve loved him. Baby D gave you another 1 last year too. And Cynthia had her 1st. Yes, your baby Cynthia. How about that. Both your oldest and youngest had their 1st kids 1 month apart. So now that makes 7 grandkids for you. 4 boys and 3 girls. I know they all would’ve been happy to be around you today for your birthday. I know you would’ve loved the company. An of course, Ya-Ya would’ve cooked the dinner. It would’ve probably been a feast but we would’ve been just fine with the Salisbury Steak,Mash Potatoes and Corn you use to make us. Anything just to have you here with us.

Please tell Grandma and Granpa Blake I said hi and we miss yall. Please continue to watch over and protect us. Until we meet me again. I love you. Happy Birthday

From your oldest child Ishmeel. Or as you say it ..Ishmeeeeeel 😘🤗