Reprogramming (Cold Showers)

The last few months, I’ve been attempting to reprogram my brain. I wanted to break out of daily routines that I felt were assisting in procrastinating habits. I was feeling stuck in life. Happy. But stuck. Nothing getting worse. But nothing getting better. So naturally fear started kicking in. Fear of being in the same place in 5 years. Or even 1 year honestly. Especially since I’ve always been curious about learning and creating. So for me, being stuck meant I needed to figure out something FAST. After doing a little research, everything was coming back to reprogramming your brain. Proving to your mind that things are the way they are because we only do what we we’re use to. And as humans we don’t like being uncomfortable. But when you’re trying to break Generational Poverty in your family like me, it’s going to get more than a little uncomfortable. So I started thinking what’s some of the smallest challenges that would provide discomfort for me. Things I do everyday that I can do the total opposite of. BINGO. Cartoon lightbulb over my head lol. What if I took cold showers instead of hot. That might not sound like a life changing challenge but I tried this before when it had nothing to do with trying to reprogram my brain. It was just one of the hottest summers ever an I wasn’t excited about hot showers and hot weather. So I thought ok I’ll just take cold showers the rest of the summer. That shouldn’t be too hard plus its Soooo hot outside. That lasted about 3 days. Failed challenge that wasn’t even a challenge. Fast forward to now at a time when I was gonna try it for a totally different reason. I knew I had to be serious. No goals though. No expectations. Even though in the back of my mind I felt like if I can do this for a month straight that would be a big win. 1st day was rough lol. My body wasn’t ready for the shock but I gutted it out. 2nd and 3rd day was similar to the 1st. By the time I hit the 7th day, only the initial shock of the cold water was rough but my body adjusted fast. After 30 Days of Cold Showers first thing in the morning. I was thinking “Oh this a breeze” No pun intended. But it what it really did was prove to myself that even when knowing things are going to be uncomfortable, you have to fight through. You have to be discipline and consistent. The cold shower hack was something to create a shift in my thoughts. Something that I knew would be uncomfortable. Those 30 Days strengthened my mental capacity because sometimes we won’t take risks in our lives out of fear and thinking “I can’t do that” or “I tried that already an it didn’t work.” But as I said, when you’re trying to break Generational Poverty in your family like myself…things are gonna be a little more than uncomfortable. You’re gonna try some things and fail a lot. A WHOLE LOT. But once you figure out how to tolerate the uncomfortability you’ll realize things are not as hard as you think they are. We just have to train our minds to get stronger. That mental strength will start to transfer to other parts in your life. An it’s not about the Cold Showers. Lol. That’s just what I did to start my reprogramming. Pick something in your Daily Routine that you think would be uncomfortable to change. And change it. Cold Turkey. No “I’m starting on New Years” Nooooo pleeeeaase Noooooo 😒🚿🛁

Regrets (College)

There’s not many things I regret in my life. But 1 thing I use to regret before meeting my wife and starting to write this love at 1st conversation story, was my decision to not go away for college. As a kid, that was always a goal of mine to go away after high school. And not for the degree or to accumulate overwhelming debt. But for the experience. The chance of seeing something different. The opportunity to be around different cultures. Different backgrounds. I would say different races but that wasnt a big deal breaker for me after going on a college tour in 10th grade to some of the Historic HBCUs. I was sold on Virginia State after 10 minutes. Howard was a close 2nd but either one would’ve been just fine in my books. No pun intended. But I never even filled out a application for either University. Actually I don’t remember filling out 1 for any University AT ALL. My old AAU Basketball coach even set something up for me to go to a Junior College in Pennsylvania. The College Coach called me and and we had a good conversation. The application came in the mailbox a few days later. I opened it once, looked at it and maybe even wrote my name and address. Then I said nah I’m good. I don’t know what it was. That resistance of leaving my comfort zone use to haunt me and sometimes I still go through those tug of wars with myself. Comfortable and Content. 2 things that don’tallow you to grow and live. And where I’m from we call a 40 minute ride to the beach a road trip. I’m not exaggerating. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day one of my boys told me he was Out Of Town an I asked him where did he go. He said Morristown. Like Morristown, New Jersey. We live in Newark,New Jersey. 25-30 Minutes tops, depending on which part you starting from. Maybe that’s why the few times I did get to go outside of the Jersey turnpike I would impulsively say “I’m not going back” LOL. But that’s what happens when you rarely leave. Everything else feels like the great escape. But I was never looking for the great escape. Just something different from the daily corner store,chicken shack, liquor store run. Weekly barbershop stop. Occasional Downtown stop. Occasional mall trip especially being in Mall Capital. Waiting for my best friend to pull up and ask what’s the plan. Only to realize after hours of hanging around..We have no plan 😒 lol. An of course, the twice a year road trip Jersey Shore beach run. Seeing something different for a year or two or 3 or 4 with people I’ve never met would’ve probably filled that void of curiosity. Or maybe not. I can’t say what it would’ve been because I never even took the shot. I don’t regret it anymore or at least now I can say it’s a regret I can live with. But I’ll probably always say “What If.”

“Gotta learn to live with regrets” – Jay-Z (Regrets)

You Ain’t Got The Answers

I always found it funny that when we were kids we often found ourselves saying things like “I can’t wait to move out” or I can’t wait to until I’m old enough” or “Why does(insert any older sibling or relative name) get to do such and such an I can’t just because they’re older.” Then times flies and we get to move out of the house. And we’re finally old enough to get those “privileges” that our older relatives had. Suddenly, the tune has changed to “why can’t things be like when we were kids.” Is it our fault for that reaction? Do we intentionally make life harder than what it is. Or have we been misled into to thinking that being an adult means life HAS to be overwhelming and you can’t enjoy the world innocently like when we were kids? Sometimes I feel like I’m close to the answer and sometimes I’m still confused. Lol 🤷🏽‍♂️ .I just keep hearing Kanye West scream “You ain’t got the answers”